Once a Mother... Always a Mother

Deciding to have a child is a huge step. Knowingly or unknowingly you decide to let a small living, breathing  person dictate your life. Most people who have not had kids would argue that its not such a big deal. People have always had kids. I mean its the most natural phenomenon. But ask the mums. Specially the new ones. The labor and delivery pains are still fresh in their minds. Those moments are still raw when they felt their lives are going to end and yet all they wanted was to make sure their baby was fine.

Those nine months when you gradually prepare to be a mum... you don't realize that you already became one the moment the pregnancy test came out positive. And then everyday you get closer and closer to the tiny body inside your growing belly.

The D day arrives and you're in the hospital. Not knowing what awaits you. After hours of pain and feeling that this is it.. you would not do it ever again... you hold the tiny being in your arms.. and you know it was all worth it.

But the harder part is yet to come. Sleepless nights, colic, breastfeeding and dealing with a whole lot of unwanted advise. But your tiny love grows. Slowly.. steadily. You cry every time he's in pain. Every time you have to take him to a doctor because he has temperature. You lie awake all night to make sure he's sleeping. Your hands automatically scoop when he's about to throw up. The first time he looks up at you and smiles you proudly call your mom and give her the fabulous news. And then there is that most important day of your life.. more important than even the day you got married to the love of your life. The day he says... Mumma. 

The worry never ends however. You worry when he eats less. Does he have worms in his stomach? You worry when he climbs and jumps. What if he falls? Worse.. what if he falls and I am not around? You worry and you worry some more.. while your baby grows. Everyday into a more and more independent person.

One day your small little kid is no longer really small. But guess what you are still worrying. Maybe not as much about whether he is eating enough among other things. But worrying, nonetheless. 

Because there is no going back. No returning. Once a Mother... Always a Mother.